Wellness
Why Students Feel Pressured To Have It All Figured Out
Spoiler: You don’t need to
If you’re between 18–24 and studying in Canada, chances are you’ve felt this low-key (or high-key) panic: “Why does everyone else seem to know exactly what they’re doing with their life… except me?”
You’re not alone. Not even close.
Where does all this pressure come from? Let’s tackle the three big ones.
1. Social media is a highlight reel
This may seem obvious, but that’s why it’s first. Scroll for 5 minutes and you’ll see:
- Someone landing their “dream job”
- Someone on a luxurious vacation
- Someone who is in a new relationship
While these may be happening to people, they are unique experiences. When you scroll, you’re seeing highlights from 20 different people, not one nonstop experience.
These are carefully curated moments in people’s lives. People mostly only share the joy, success, and progress in their life. It’s easy to feel like you are behind when you are consistently being bombarded with these updates.
What you have to remember is you are not seeing the struggles and tribulations to get to these moments of happiness. Progress isn’t loud or visible most of the time. People are quick to hide those moments, presenting only the good.
Social media makes everyone look “ahead,” when in reality that’s not the case.
So, you may be asking: “What do I do about it?”. Use social media intentionally:
- Only follow people you know to limit the amount of comparison to strangers on the internet
- Avoid doomscrolling, and practice limiting social media use for unimportant things
- When you start to feel negatively towards what you are viewing online, make the intentional decision to remove yourself from the app
- Pick up new hobbies that don’t involve your phone
2. Everyone keeps asking that question
You may be a victim of the “what do you want to do with your life?” question. Trust me, we’ve all been there. Bit of a spoiler, your answer will likely change. How can anyone expect you to know exactly what you are going to do with the rest of your life at 18?
Giving people the benefit of the doubt, this question doesn’t come from a negative place but rather a curious one. But this doesn’t make it any less stressful when the answer is “I’m not sure”.
Suddenly, it feels like you’re supposed to have a clear, confident, five-year plan ready at all times. Not just an idea, but a solid answer, complete with job title, industry, and backup plan. Saying “I’m still figuring it out” can feel awkward, even though it’s the most honest response.
What can be difficult about this topic is the expectations of someone in the beginning of adulthood. Are we “supposed” to get a degree, job, house and spouse? And if yes, what degree, what job, and where/who to live this projected life with?
There’s nothing wrong with not knowing the answers to these questions when you are just at the beginning of your studies. This “timeline” and the “questions” often feel more like a burden than a natural curiosity of what you are up to, but it’s important to keep perspective.
The truth is, no one really answers this question correctly. Because even if you think you have an answer, chances are that answer will change throughout your education as well as your life.
So the next time someone asks that question, remember that not having a clear answer doesn’t mean you’re lost. It means you’re still becoming, and that’s exactly where you’re supposed to be.
Figuring out your future isn’t something that happens in one conversation. It’s something that unfolds – slowly, imperfectly, and on your own timeline.
3. New adulting pressures
The magic word: “adulting.” The word you were warned about all throughout high school. The thing that is finally here.
All of a sudden you have to pay bills, cook for yourself, do your laundry, do school, work, and so much more. The expectations have completely risen. Even small things feel like big tests. And when you’re juggling school, work, social life, and even mental health, all these “adulting” expectations pile on fast.
The truth? Nobody really has this all figured out. This is an important point to reiterate to new adults because it’s just the truth.
It seems daunting and new and difficult (and at times it might be), but you are capable of more than you even know. Adulting isn’t about perfection, it’s about learning as you go, surviving the chaos, and figuring out what works for you.
Focus on small accomplishments and really take pride in everything you learn along the way. Paying bills on time? You’re learning financial literacy. Got a good grade on a test? You’re learning discipline. Moved out on your own? You’re learning independence. Got a job/internship while at school? You’re learning time management.
Feeling overwhelmed by “adulting” milestones doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you’re human (and probably doing better than you think). Life isn’t a checklist, it’s a series of trials, errors, and wins, and the “adulting” part is mostly about surviving the chaos.
Conclusion
At the end of the day, whether it’s social media, career expectations, or the pressures of adulting, it’s easy to feel like everyone else has it together while you’re scrambling to keep up. But the truth is, most of what you see (online or in others’ lives) is only a fragment, a highlight reel, or a snapshot of someone else’s journey. Your path doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. Progress happens quietly, mistakes are part of learning, and growth often comes in small, invisible steps. Focus on your own timeline, celebrate your wins, and remember that being “behind” is just a feeling, not a fact.
